Jon on the River
6 min readNov 12, 2020




This guy might’ve literally gotten high and climbed up here

I wonder if I had my entire family come over right now if I would receive looks of concern. Is he okay? What’s different about him? Is he on that shit?

Yeah, I’m on that shit, son! And that shit is life! Well, meditation which connects me to life and you know…yadayada. No bullshit though. If you get on this meditation thing you can have your whole family jealous of your heroin-like high. Look, on the real, I’ve never done heroin or anything outside of marijuana — unless you want to count liquor which is certainly more hazardous than weed — but the way I feel day-to-day is pretty phenomenal. I mean bragging-level kind of phenomenal, like the ‘ha ha, I got some shit that you don’t got’ kind of phenomenal. Damn, feeling hell of good as I write this now and I just got finished writing this other piece for Medium(How To Be So Happy You’ll Leave Your Family, approx. 1100 word count. Go ahead and check that out) but it doesn’t seem to matter. I feel like I can keep going. I have shit to say, man. Sympathize.

“If you get on this meditation thing you can have your whole family jealous of your heroin-like high!”

I feel like I smoked a quality of weed that actually upgraded my consciousness instead of reducing it. Yeah, I know, I know. There are a bunch of rap artists out there who swear to the validity of marijuana and its ability to infuse them with a Godlike level of creative expression. Now, I’m paraphrasing, or just completely lying, but explaining what I’m paraphrasing or completely lying about is not important so let’s just move on.

There are countless types of meditation routines. Strong determination sitting, visualization, transcendental, Kriya Yoga, Tantra, and on and on. I’ve done most of these, minus the latter, and I gotta say Kriya Yoga takes the cake by far, because I’ve lost my fear of honest expression, I’ve lost my fear of hard work, I’ve lost my fear of taking what’s not mine, my fear of drinking and driving, and…uh, okay. I think I’m getting off track. Onto the next.

This guy’s like meditating and stuff! Totally hardcore, duuuuuuuuuude!!!

Listen, with the exception of perhaps Kriya Yoga, none of these meditation techniques hold a candle to a solo meditation retreat. You’ll notice that when I write these rants that this will be something I bring up often, but that’s only because the information is completely valid. I was recently having a drunken phone conversation — drinking when genuinely high off meditation is well…unnecessary, but that’s a story for another day — with my older brother the other day about killing the ego, incessant thoughts, and the most effective methods of experiencing death while staying alive(another conversation that I want to delve deeper into before I write about it further in another rant). I mentioned the seven solo meditation retreats that I had taken and explained to him that they were by far the best thing that I had done for myself. If he could just get himself to take one solo retreat it would make a world of difference.

“A solo retreat allows you to take a sledgehammer to the rock-like muck that has built up in your mind over the years”

See, this is the true starting point to becoming genuinely high off life. A solo retreat allows you to take a sledgehammer to the rock-like muck that has built up in your mind over the years before you continue to chip away at it with a slower, pick-ax-like effectiveness each day of the week. One thing that tripped me out about consciousness work was just how much I had felt my brain change after the first retreat alone. If you dedicate yourself fully to your first solo retreat, after you deal with the ensuing brutal onrush of ego-backlash — first time around it’s almost certainly going to be brutal — you will feel that something deep within your mind has been…well, cleared out.

Every day will start to look like sunshine…and maybe a bright forest and…well, you know…

Anyway, let’s talk about the dangerous part. Uh, yeah…though there is a dark side to meditation I wouldn’t connect it to the aspect having to do with the states of bliss you can potentially experience. In fact, while in these states of bliss I would argue that you are as safe as ever. You’re more aligned with infinite intelligence, your intuition more on point, the Law of Attraction is working more for your benefit, and you’re less likely to say or do things that would hurt you in the short or long term. Straight up. It’s fucking amazing.

I’m so behind the elites on this it hurts, but even little ole me can’t deny that I’m in a hell of a flow state right now. At least compared to where I was about a year ago. Yeah, I had to put a lot of hours into consciousness, but damn, I feel so good writing this. Plus, because of me and me alone, I was able to ensure Biden won the election! My energy, my manifestation! Playing! Just playing!

Check this out! I’m about to watch this chess show on Netflix strictly for inspiration right now because viewing something like that has the potential to be just as valuable to me as writing out a concrete daily schedule. Why? Because of the inspiration! DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH!

As I see it, inspiration is energy and enough build-up of it can have a huge impact on a person’s ability to create. Chase inspiration not masturbation by the way. That’s another tidbit that I want to add. And I’m only half-kidding on that one. If you’re going to do it, do it without chasing. Chasing a thing means dependence and dependence is where humans tend to go wrong. Yup, that too, is a subject for another day.

“The fallout from a lack of a meditation routine is your problem and yours alone!”

So yeah, this isn’t really a cautionary rant, other than if you don’t start a serious meditation routine you’ll be FUCKED! More seriously though, you will be missing out for sure. You can take that to the bank. Or don’t. While I do care I’m still flawed so I don’t care as much as I should. In other words, that means the fallout from a lack of a meditation routine is your problem and yours alone!

P.S. — -A joke. But seriously, let’s show love to Trump. Understand, that man suffers every day and likely has been for a very long time. He’s trapped in his own mind. An endless ocean of toxic, negative, insecure thoughts, drowning out the awareness of his true essence like fluid in the lungs. No BS on that.

I’m so high off life I forgot to vote! HAHAHAHAHA!

Now everyone reading this, breathe in, and breathe out. Man, feels good to be able to breathe again, right? The country really does feel different. But you know what? Biden’s too goddamn safe and mature! I want to be a Toys-R US kid again!

TRUMP 2024!!!!

Jon by the River



Jon on the River

Home of my open journal. I will speak about growth and take you through the heaven and hell that makes up this process