J. Marshall

Yeah, there’s a lot of physically beautiful people in this world, no doubt

Lot of fine ass women in this world, no

motherfuckin doubt

You get aroused looking at a particular chick and you feel that the end all be all is right there in front of you, in a potential nut.

Or orgasm, whatever term you prefer to use

Boy, we don’t tend to consider raising a family, creativity, future income, compatibility or even developing yourself to be relationship material. Hell, none of that comes into question

We never consider that no person, woman, man, friends, family or even a supermodel caliber chick in front of you can’t actually do jack shit for your happiness. Nothing. Zero. Nothing at all.

What’s this woman gonna do, huh?

Is she going to make you stronger, fill your bank account with millions, teach you how to be creative and true to yourself?

Tell me, is she going to reach inside of your fuckin’ mind with her magical, metaphysical fingers and remove any trauma or bad memories buried in your subconscious, huh?

Is she going to just rid you of your insecurities about not being strong enough, rich enough, smart enough, accomplished enough, relevant enough, confident enough, nice enough, tough enough, charismatic enough, a good enough fuck — maybe until sex with the both of you becomes familiar, but fine you can take that one — will she make sure that your older brother, or your father doesn’t make you feel insecure because you don’t currently(in your own mind)match up with what they’ve done in their lives.

Is she going to make you feel more secure about the idea that she’s not going to cheat on you, is she going to sit down one day and tell you from the heart, ‘don’t worry about my happiness, baby. Worry first about yours because the way we best sustain this relationship is to be fully formed human beings who don’t actually need anything from each other but just want to be together’

Fuck no! She ain’t going to say anything like that! You suck her energy and she sucks up yours until the relationship ends with a cataclysmic WWII caliber bang

Or maybe it just ends quietly

If a person just stopped reading this it’d sound like the pessimistic words of a brother that can’t get laid

But let’s break down facts

A nut isn’t fulfilling

Trust me I’ve tried a lot of nuts and the resulting intense pleasure is oh, oh, so fleeting

Must feel good to know that if you try hard enough you could be a man in his forties bragging about how he’s fucked hundreds of women

‘And guess what I’m going to do tomorrow,’ you’ll scream

‘Fuck some more!’

Something wrong J

Just because you haven’t stuck your dick in every moving female part don’t take out your blue balls on me!


Try this on for size

Feeling calm one hundred percent of the day that runs deeper into the depths of you than the STD you recently popped some prescribed pills for, and it’s a calm where you feel good twenty four seven, even if the world seems to be burning around you

Think of it as a cool calm ocean that resides within you instead of outside

And happiness…

Yeah, you know that fleeting thing brief physical pleasure is so often mistaken for which is why you chase women twenty four seven to fill the seemingly endless void residing deep within you

Poof! Gone!

Imagine carrying a feeling around with you that even a Beyoncé/Rihanna hybrid from planet Orgasm couldn’t compete with

Yeah, shit sounds so good you’re probably thinking I’m off my rocker aren’t you?

But imagine this…this is an especially intriguing point I want to make if I must say so myself

Imagine looking at that gorgeous woman in the grocery store, with the pretty face, the fat ass, and perfect waist and actually seeing the thing that actually makes her beautiful

That she is you, you are her, and you are both God

Imagine seeing her beauty in the fact that she exists, and throughout all of existence you’ll never to be able to find another woman exactly like her

Imagine recognizing, without having to strain, her beauty being in the fact that she was made out of love — not the love of parents — but the love of the universe, you know, the substance that makes up you and all of eternity

Imagine appreciating her beauty but you’re so deeply, suffocatingly happy on the inside, that you don’t need, nor do you ask for a damn thing from her

Imagine that you, as an individual, no matter who you see, what you see, or who is saying what to you, imagine that you are completely and utterly good…

A good that reaches beyond the physical plains, a good that no one, or no woman, anywhere, can ever, EVER fuck with


And how does that get achieved, you ask?

Well first, I imagine, you need to find out who you truly are

Home of my open journal. I will speak about growth and take you through the heaven and hell that makes up this process